Every good thing.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day and weekend! We stayed in this year and celebrated what will hopefully be our last Valentine's Day without a child. I made a dinner of Chris' favorite foods and we ate by candle light for most of the meal - it eventually got too dark for no lights!I even got all dressed up AND found a zebra for Chris. haha.

Saturday we took the munchkins hiking at a preserve not too far from where we live. What started out as a hike turned into a swim about 3 miles in. Frankie loved it, the little ones got carried and we got soaked.

We got home to a wonderful surprise. A package from my one set of my paternal grandparents. Baby "G" got his/her first gift in the mail. A beautiful afghan made by his/her great-grandmother!! It goes perfectly with the nursery. I also put up some cards we've gotten over the last few weeks concerning baby "G". I painted a backboard and frame and made baby "G" his/her very own card DIY cork board lol.

Yesterday after church and lunch with Chris' mom and dad we went on our weekly bike ride. All-in-all we had a very wonderful-love-filled weekend!

Now - onto the adoption front. Our book was given to another birth/first mommie and daddy Friday. It's the waiting game again, but we're just grateful to be here!

I wanted to give a break down of the money we've raised so far and where it's been used so that all of you beautiful loving people will know exactly where and how much you're helping us! First of all, you may have noticed that the ending amount over to the right has changed some. This is because every situation is different and if the current birth/first mommie chooses us we will need to pay more than the last quoted amount. Why? This birth/first mommie will be working one on one with a therapist that will help her get through this process - which we believe is awesome.

We have raised $2,040 at this point, however we're still waiting on our Chrome Buffalo money, so it's actually $1,974. Out of that $2,040 we have used $1,192.70.

•  We used $192.70 to buy safety items for the house - outlet plugs, cabinet locks, ext - as well as other items we needed to get us ready for the home study!  
• Our home study fee had to be paid a few weeks ago. Rather than cause ourselves any debt to pay it we used $1,000 of our raised funds. *The remaining $500 won't be due until post placement.

Our goal is to try and get through this adoption without any debt. We know that raising a child is expensive and we're trying to do the best that we can to not start our journey off with such a huge debt from the get go. You gals & guys are AMAZING for all that you've done to help us so far. THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH!

Full Steam Ahead

Full Steam Ahead.

After all, that's the only way I do anything. I make up my mind and there's noting that can stand in my way. Sometimes that's good.... but not always. I am lucky however that Chris accepts this, even when it means that we've BOTH got a weekend of honey dos to get done!

We've been working on putting the office back into the "office room" and turning the area I was using as my office back into a formal dinning room. Task accomplished! Though I will admit, the formal dinning area looks very bare! I've got to find some curtains for that window and a picture or two for the far wall.

My office is getting there. I have much less to do than when I started at least! Eventually there won't be such a mess... please excuse the huge blur, there was a little chihuahua nosing around while I was trying to take the panorama picture.

I also got the last canvas done and hung up in the nursery!

While stumbling across other adoption oriented sites tonight I came across a wonderful read.

To my many friends or readers who are in that purgatory — that hell — of waiting, I’m hoping to give you a little encouragement today. I know what it feels like. I know the constant ache of your heart, the struggle to be fully present for your family and friends when you feel like half your heart and half your brain (or more) is always wrapped up in something else. I remember all too well sneaking out of the bedroom in the middle of the night so I could secretly check my e-mail and see if there was any sort of paperwork update from the Congo, who was eight hours ahead. I remember bursting into tears whenever certain songs would come on the radio  (though I now love the song “Home”, I was convinced God was trying to torture me with its popularity and incessant radio time). I remember wanting to punch the people who said, “God has a plan.” I remember being torn between wanting to talk about my son all the time and dying for someone to ask me about him and wanting to hole up in the house so I could just stop answering the well-meaning “When will he be home?” questions. I remember feeling like I had nothing left to give anyone because I was so emotionally exhausted.Waiting Mama — this, too, shall pass. I know it doesn’t seem like it. It seems like you’ve been in this forever and maybe you have. Maybe you have been fighting for your child for years. Maybe you are on your third or fourth referral because the others have fallen through or because you’ve lost a child. It’s okay to be angry and upset that this takes so long. It shouldn’t have to. Children should be with their mamas and not in an orphanage and it is not part of “God’s plan” that your child is suffering hurt and pain while he waits for you. That’s part of the sinful, broken world we live in. You have a right to be outraged at the system that is keeping you apart. You have a right to your tears, to your void, to your heartache.

Just remember that you are not alone. Even though it may seem like you are out of control and you are the only one advocating for your child, God is fighting for you and for your child, too:

The Lord your God will fight for you; you need only to be still. (Exodus 14:14)

I know those words won’t suddenly make your wait joyous. I know they won’t necessarily take away the deep ache you have for your child. But I hope that they make you feel less alone. And I hope knowing that there are other mamas who have shared your same pain and longing and are now on the other side is somehow encouraging to you.

And I promise you this, waiting mama: that moment is so very worth the wait.

Thank you for your wonderful words above, Carly. Right now the second best thing in the world for my heart and knowing that all of these feelings that I'm having are normal and understood.

The first best thing is knowing that our baby is out there somewhere, even if he/she isn't even born yet!

Our Book List

Our list of children's books that touch on adoption. I'm still in search of more, so if you know of any please feel free to comment with them!!! I'm a book lover and I have hopes of passing that on to "Baby G".

More Progress

Friday I ordered a book filled with our statement pictures (can be found under Diona + Chris) for a birth mom. Please send some prayers up, she will be given our book along with a few other families' info on Monday.

I got "Baby G's" initial this week and put over the crib. I also got the chest of drawers moved into the nursery, it matches the dresser that we have in there. "Baby G" already has tons of room for clothes! This past Wednesday I went up to Georgia to get the fur-babies their yearly shots. After visiting the vet we stopped in at my parent's and spend some time with my mom. I brought back a lot of my old books and even some that were my dad's when he was a kid. There were too many to put on top of the chest of drawers, so I had to put half of them in one of the drawers. I plan on reading to "Baby G" every single day... which probably means I'm going to need even more books.

I finished the blanket today that I've been working on for the last week. It's so soft and unbelievably warm. Also started on two canvases this week that I will be hanging over the dresser/changing pad once I finished them up in the morning!